The lady responsible for me never
wanting to invite people over.
So, whenever any of our male friends (married or single) come over, R. likes to joke about the fact that there is no such thing as marital rape in the state of Kansas. Then they all pound their chests, pick fleas from each others' hair, and draw stick figures on the walls.* (I have an unlimited supply of Mr. Clean's erasers.) He does it mostly to get a rise out of me, which he thinks is hysterical.
Well, for a long time I thought he was exaggerating UNTIL we invited our next-door neighbors over for dinner. R., of course, brought it up so he could see my face turn beet red as one-liners from my sophmore (or sothmore, as my mom pronounces it) year Women's Studies class boiled in my stomach. But then the most interesting thing happened. His point was validated by our neighbor. That almost made me pass out by itself. But what's more..... Washington University in St. Louis actually gave the woman who passed the "I'll never have another headache for the rest of my married life" law, an honorary doctorate! Hundreds of people protested during the ceremony. It's true. Wikipedia said so.
Long story short, our next garage sale will include the house & I've decided we're moving to another state...if only so I don't have to constantly wear a strained smile on my face in front of company.
*R. wants me to add that he doesn't like how this post portrays him as a person. However, he does like the caveman reference, so will green-light it.
4 comments:
i love kansas! are you moving?
I'm trying. Ryan wants to stay in Kansas b/c of the law. We may end up living on opposite sides of State Line.
Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. I knew I liked you immediately when we met, but I had no idea that beneath the surface you were such a testosterone charged man's man. You are a true hero of men everywhere and I salute you.
Oh yeah, and Carolyn, I used to work for a guy years ago who pronounced it "southmore".
Great post.
-Bruce
Great post! Sorry I had to hear about it from Dave though! How are things? Stick with Kansas...better highways! Call me sometime or shoot me an email, I'd love to catch up over a bottle of wine! =)
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